As if there was all the time in the world

 As if there was all the time in the world
as if there were no lines to wait in
as if my mind with mud wasn’t filled
and about to explode or implode in

to itself that dream will never come true
to itself going round like no tomorrow
to itself moments end & never continue
to itself the world is filled with sorrow

I’m running backwards I see the past now
I’m seeing faces that have always been gone now
through tears that come hard and fast now
I’m seeing faces that are up there in heaven now

They’re looking down I know they’re smiling
They’re looking down and they forgive all
They hold me, they’re not controlling
They’ve seen worse but also the beautiful

The ancestors know that its all passed down
& the struggle for goodness and joy is here
& those who deny it are missing the sound
of a cosmic song ringing in this inner…

Ear…

Prayer

 Prayer

      I am
        me
    and no
        one
          else.

        I turned away
    to find myself
           from under
            all this rubble.

I had to go to
    find my shadow.

   I had to go to find my
brother and sister.

    I’m looking for my
        power.

    I’ve been space holding
   for so long, and
covering over and
        drifting wide.

    Not writing the 
letters of intent.
         Of regret.
            Of heaven sent.
            Of descent.
    Missing meanings.
        Short faces.

        Hold on together
     to this long wind
        of blessed air.
 
        Not in
                that
                           space…

Write it out...

    If I could write it out 
of my blood and bones
that would be perfect. 
Bit by bit, unspooled, 
withdrawn. Freed from. 
The left hand could take from 
the right. The mind 
could pull out from the heart. 
The little toe could 
become it’s own country. 
My eyes could see the view, 
the lay of the land, 
not as a map but as a maze 
and once again
I am lost in tomorrow. 
Empty sleepy dreamless.

            And who would know 
what she ever intended? 
What joy she had in being
there, in wanting 
something together.
In never wanting to leave. 
In some
infinite touch.